Conclution
by Tara Kitaide
Summary: Ichigo's life has become hell without his beloved but Renji may be closer than he thought. Continuation to Aftermath, second Gen!Renji, angst, Renji x Ichigo


**Title:** Conclusion (sequel to 'Aftermath')

**Author:** Tara Kitaide

**genre:** tragedy/romance

**rating:** M

**pairing:** Ichigo/Renji

**warning:** Character Death and angsty emo shit

**Disclaimer:** I don't own bleach but hey, I can dream, can't I?

-/-/-/-

Ichigo's life had became one big mess.

It had been years sense Renji had died. Ichigo was now twenty and had long sense moved out of the Kurosaki clinic. He got a job but it was low paying and crappy. He didn't go anywhere or do anything anymore. He didn't go to school, only finished high school and then left the rest of the world to itself. He pushed everyone closest to him away. Everyone except for Rukia. Despite his constant fowl mood and low self esteem, Rukia stayed with him through the years, determined to get Ichigo back to his old self. Ichigo never understood why.

To him he was a lost cause. He didn't feel anything anymore. He couldn't be happy, he didn't smile, the only time he laughed it was never humorous or joyous, but was cruel and normally aimed at himself or at the stupidity that would sometimes spew from Rukia's mouth.

He had become an empty shell.

He went to work, came home, took a shower and then sat on his bed the rest of the day. It was rare that he ever went out on his own accord. Rukia normally did the shopping for him and would stay over some nights to cook for him and make sure he ate. It was sad, pathetic even. Sometimes they fought, even though it wasn't a real fight. Rukia would scream and beg at him to get his act together while Ichigo just sat there and looked at the floor or his hands. Sometimes he would respond but it was only to tell her to shut up or that he wanted Renji back.

It was painful and not even that. He was gone, empty, hallow. He gave up his duty as a shinigami, he gave up his relationship with his friends, he gave up the rest of his life and it wasn't so much Renji's fault as it was Ichigo's. He could have gotten over it. He could have moved on and become someone he knew Renji would be proud of. He could have continued living, that is, if he had tried. He never even put any thought or effort into it. He just didn't care. He didn't care what happened to him or what people thought of his pathetic life. He didn't care if he kept on living, he didn't care if the world would end. He just lost interest in life.

_It's just like him  
To wander off in the evergreen park  
Slowly searching for any sign  
Of the ones he used to love.._

He says he's got nothing left to live for  
He says he's got nothing left...  
And this time I think you'll know...

_You're not alone  
There is more to this, I know  
You can make it out  
You will live to tell_

It was a lazy sunny afternoon, too cheerful and bright for Ichigo's liking. He was sitting on his bed, legs crossed, back slumped, head drooped, eyes out of focus. Rukia was making lunch in the kitchen, singing some strange American song she heard at Orihime's house. Ichigo tried not to think. Thinking brought back memories and memories only hurt. As much as he didn't want to, he had suppressed, as best he could, any and all memories regarding Renji or his old friends. He didn't want to forget. He didn't want to forget Renji, the way his lips felt on his, the way his hair would tickle his face, the way he would kiss and caress him for hours, the way his red eyes shone when they looked into his... He didn't want to forget but he didn't want to remember ether. Forgetting hurt. Remembering hurt. It seemed to Ichigo that forgetting would hurt less so that's what he stuck with and that's what he stood by.

Rukia's song ended and soon there was a knock on his door. He knew Rukia was summoning him for lunch and that if he didn't come she would throw a fit again. She called out his name and he grumbled in response, not bothering to form a word or sentence. He just didn't have the energy or drive to speak unless necessary. He sat for a few more minutes before slowly standing and shuffling over to the door. He reached for the handle weakly, his hand loosing it's grip and slipping off of it for a moment before gripping tightly and turning.

Ichigo shuffled out into the kitchen and took his normal seat at the table. Rukia had her back to him, working at the counter before flipping around and setting Ichigo's food in front of him.

"It's chicken and rice." She beamed down at him. "We haven't had it for quite sometime so I thought about making it. You seemed to like it a lot last time, right?"

Ichigo just stared at the food for a moment before looking up at Rukia with a blank stare and nodding. He turned back to the food and picked up his chopsticks. Rukia sat down at her usual place across from him and they began eating. Ichigo picked at his food for a moment before taking a small bite and reluctantly swallowing. If it wasn't for Rukia he probably wouldn't eat as much as he did, at all if any. Another reason why Rukia was required for him to live.

_She's just like him  
Spoiled rotten  
Confused by the lies she's been fed  
And she's searching for no one  
But herself  
Her eyes turn to green and she seems to be happy  
That she is here  
And this time I think you'll know..._

You're not alone  
There is more to this, I know  
You can make it out  
You will live to tell

When he finished eating and his bowl was empty, he put his hands in his lap and stared at the bowl, a sign that he was done. Rukia finished soon after him and stood up, picking up his empty bowl and beginning to clean the dishes in the sink. Ichigo just sat at the table like he did after every meal, but somehow this felt different. His began to fidget, bouncing his leg up and down in the need to move, be in motion. Ichigo hadn't felt this way in awhile. It was like something was pulling him, telling him to move, walk around, do something.

Ichigo's stomach churned and soon he couldn't take it anymore. He abruptly stood, the chair screeching loudly as it skid across the tile floor. Rukia stopped and looked at Ichigo in surprise. Ichigo stared forward for a moment, the feeling slowly starting to control his actions. He opened his mouth, closed it, and opened it again.

"Rukia..."

Ichigo's tone was dull and emotionless as he called his friend's name absentminded.

"Y-Yes, Ichigo? What is it?"

Rukia turned off the water and began to dry her hands with a dish towel, concern filling her eyes. Ichigo was silent once more before the feeling became too over whelming. He walked towards the door, picking up his feet and walking with a purpose rather than dragging himself around.

"I'm going out for a bit. I'll try to be back by dinner."

Rukia's eyes widened and her mouth slightly dropped before she snapped back into reality at the sound of the clicking door handle. "Oh! Yes! Just... Just be back when ever you feel like it!"

Ichigo didn't respond but instead rushed out of the apartment.

_You're not alone  
There is more to this, I know  
You can make it out_

There is more to know

Ichigo walked on endlessly what felt like forever. When he left the house it was early noon so the sun still beamed down on him, making him sweat and grow tired even faster. It had been a long time sense he'd had to walk so much or be so active, it was exhausting.

Ichigo eventually found himself at the park, the same one Renji and him use to go to constantly. He was tired and needed a break so he sat down on one of the park's hot benches that overlooked a large grassy field with plenty of trees and shade. He didn't so much pay attention to the people as he did his own thoughts. He didn't know why, but the moment he sat down, that feeling of uneasiness went away. He felt like he was grounded to this one spot and was forced to stay. Of course he was tired, and he did need a rest, but it was more than that. His heart was telling him not move.

Ichigo leaned forward and rest his hands on his knees as he peered out at all the people. Most of them were kids with their parents, having a picnic, swinging, laughing, talking. There were also quite a few dog owners out with their pets as well as bicyclers, skate borders, roller skaters and just some giggly girls.

Ichigo sighed. "I don't get it. What could possibly be here?"

Ichigo's thought process was interrupted by a sudden pain in his head and the feel of cool plastic grazing his face. Ichigo gave a surprised yelp and fell sideways onto the bench. The damned instrument that struck him halted it's flight through the air and landed beside him on the grass. Ichigo growled at the thing. A Frisbee. Great.

Ichigo sat up abruptly and grumbled as he rubbed the bump on his head. He leaned down and picked up the plastic disk, glaring down evilly at the contraption.

"Who the hell threw-!"

"Oh, gosh! I'm so sorry!"

Ichigo blinked for a moment before looking for the owner of the voice. It sounded familiar, painfully familiar. Ichigo looked until a young man, probably in his twenty's, came jogging over to Ichigo, a large Golden Retriever running hastily after him.

"Are you all right, man?! I didn't see you there and then when Shadow missed..."

Ichigo looked up at the man and gasped. The man had long hair. Not like shoulder length long, but it trailed down his back even in the loose ponytail it was in. His hair was also a ridiculous shade of red, bright and exuberant, like it was fire. The man's bangs were as long as his face and parted on each side so a long bundle of hair rest down the center of his face. His eyes were red, crimson red, and his skin was tan. He was wearing a pair of those ridiculous pants that you could zip extra fabric to to become pants. He wore a simple, loose white T-shirt that was wet down the front with water and sweat. He looked like Renji minus the goofy eyebrows, tattoos and weird hair line.

Ichigo stared up at him, pain beginning to fill his body. He couldn't tell if it was the hunger messing with his mind and gave him the illusion that this man looked like Renji, or if this was the man's true appearance. Before Ichigo knew it, he was gaping, mouthing his lover's name before he found the voice to say it.

"Renji...?"

The man looked down at him in surprise. "Huh? How do you know that name?" He asked, confused.

Ichigo snapped back to reality and blinked at the man a moment, trying to register what he meant. "Wah...? Oh!" Ichigo shook his head and tried to concentrate on the task of answering this man's questions. "I'm sorry... Is that your name?"

The man looked at him oddly for a moment before slowly nodding. "Uh... well, it use to be. I've long sense changed my name to Takashi..." The man gave an "oh!" and shook his head as Ichigo had done, trying to think straight.

"I'm sorry! Where are my manners?" He smiled sheepishly before extending a hand to be shook. "As you already know, my name is Takashi, Abarai Takashi, but until long ago I was Abarai Renji." Ichigo stared at his hand for a moment, memorized. He even had Renji's _name_. But how was that possible? Renji's soul probably hadn't gone through the system and been recycled yet and even if it did, he would only be two or three years of age. Then it hit him. Unohana-Taichou told him once about a person's soul being reborn within an existing person. She said, some people are born with "half" of a soul. The rest of it already exists within the soul society as a person. When that person dies, the souls fuse and become complete. This person must have been Renji's other half.

"Um, hey? You okay?"

Ichigo snapped back to reality and looked up at the man. "Huh? Oh!" He scratch the back of his head nervously before taking the man's hand and shaking it. "S-Sorry... You just look like someone I... use to know." Renji, or Takashi nodded and released Ichigo's hand. He stared at Ichigo for a moment, his head cocked in thought. Ichigo winced at the memories that came flowing back at the familiar action. Renji use to look at him the same way whenever he was curious, thinking or just staring at him like he often did.

"And your name?"

Again Ichigo was caught off guard and snapped back into reality for the second time. "My name...? Oh! I'm Ichigo... Kurosaki Ichigo..." The man stared at him a bit more until snickering and covering his mouth, hiding a grin and turning his head down. Ichigo's eyes widened for a moment before the realization that he was being laughed at set in place. "W-What the...?! Hey! Why are you laughing at me?!" He hollered.

Takashi couldn't help but let out a short laugh before turning back to Ichigo, still snickering. "I... I'm sorry, It's just..."

"Just what?!"

Takashi paused a moment before smiling at Ichigo apologetically. "Your name... it's just, what kind of pansy name is that?" Ichigo glared at the man before letting his words sink in and the memories hit him harder than ever. Renji use to say that to him, maybe not those exact words but still the general meaning behind them was there. Ichigo sighed and fought back the growing urge to throw himself into this man's arms, believing with all his heart this was Renji. The way he moved, the gestures he made, the way he spoke, the things he said... They were all painful reminders of Ichigo's lost love.

Ichigo jumped as a sharp bark cut through the air and a cold wet nose nudged the hand he had gripped onto the Frisbee with. With his eyes, he followed his arm down to his hand and realized it was the same dog that accompanied Takashi when he came running over to Ichigo. The dog whined and bark again, nudging Ichigo's hand and then the Frisbee. "So... So you want this?" Ichigo asked the animal, holding the Frisbee up. The dog barked again and began to jump around playfully.

Takashi put a hand on Ichigo's shoulder, startling him yet again, and smiled. "Go ahead and toss it. He's just upset because no ones paying attention to him." Ichigo looked at Takashi quickly for a moment before leaning back and hurling the disk through the air.

_We're not alone  
There is more to this, I know  
You can make it out  
You will live to tell  
So tell me_

Both man sat down on the bench and watched the dog run after the flying disk, jumping at it only to mis and continue the pursuit. Takashi leaned back and draped his arms across the back of the bench, sighing. "You sure did throw that thing." He smiled. Ichigo shifted his eyes to look at him for a moment but quickly turned his attention back to the dog who had finally captured the disk. "Didn't know how far I was suppose to throw it." Takashi leaned his head back and pulled at the front of his shirt, unsticking it from his chest. "It's okay. He likes running anyway." Ichigo nodded sadly and turned his eyes back to the painfully similar man.

He gave a small gasp as a wet nose yet again nudged his hand and the plastic disk was set on his lap. He looked down at the dog which now rest it's head on Ichigo's leg and whined. Ichigo reached out and stroked the dog's golden fur. It was very relaxing and he could tell the dog liked it too by the way he leaned into Ichigo's hand.

"That's strange." Takashi mused. Ichigo looked up at him for a moment before the dog demanded his attention again. "What is?" Takashi smiled and scooted closer to him on the seat to pet the dog as well. "He's normally very shy around strangers. You're the first he's ever opened up to completely." The dog barked and nudged Ichigo's leg. "See? He agrees." Takashi chuckled. Ichigo chuckled too and for the first time in a long time he felt something. He was happy, content, at ease. He wasn't cold and emotionless like he was around other people. This man made him feel good about himself, like Renji use to...

"So um... Ichigo, right?" Ichigo looked back up at Takashi and nodded. "Yeah? What is it?" Takashi looked at the dog for a moment before looking back at Ichigo. "Well... Sometimes I have to go out or something for a long time and there's never anyone to watch Shadow, so... You wanna come over to my place and watch him sometimes?" Ichigo's eyes widened slightly and he felt a blush creep across his face. Takashi noticed. "Ah, man, I'm sorry! It was a stupid idea, forget about it." Takashi went to stand but was caught by a hand around his arm. When he looked back at Ichigo, Ichigo was smiling brightly. "I'd love to." Takashi smiled back and sat back down.

"Good."

_You're not alone  
There is more to this, I know  
You can make it out  
Make it out  
You will live to tell  
Live to tell  
You're not alone  
There is more to this, I know  
And I know  
You can make it out  
You will live to tell.._

You are not alone.  
You're not, you're not alone.

-/-/-/-

**A/N:** Gah! This sucked! I couldn't think how to end it and I think it's the worst out of the three. Oh, well... Hope you liked it anyway! That's all there is and there will be no more so no begging me to make this a series or nutin'... okay, a little begging is fine... But don' think I'll give in! 'Cause I (probably) won't!


End file.
